


Cookery and Foolery

by shujisoo



Series: A guide to Hong Jisoo's boyfriends [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack Relationships, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Polyamory, This is 1k worth of word vomit, i think, jihancheol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27351907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shujisoo/pseuds/shujisoo
Summary: A: *in response to hearing about ”events” that happened while they were gone* Are you fucking kidding me?!B: In my defense, C put out the fire before anything really bad happenedA: What? Are you telling me that there was a fucking fire as well??B:B: uh-but make it softer, with a dash of crack, and jihancheol*name is under progress pls im dead tired and i tried to skim through this before i post but my brain said no <3enjoy!
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: A guide to Hong Jisoo's boyfriends [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919572
Kudos: 45





	Cookery and Foolery

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be that prompt in the summary but I got too carried away and did this at like 3 am (i think) when I was drowning in readings (I am, in fact, still drowning in readings as of the moment but eh)
> 
> This is word vomit I'm telling you already.
> 
> The warnings I can give you guys include awful grammar, a wonky plot line, and that im a shitty writer.
> 
> This is crack, don't take it too seriously.

Joshua wasn’t expecting things to be exactly the way they were before he and Mingyu went out for the photoshoot. Hell, he presumed at least some clothes got thrown around or even just his boyfriends having another yelling fest about games and whatnot. What he didn’t foresee though, was to arrive in their dorm room and see the eldest two sitting at the table, _eating ramen_ , as if there wasn’t a mess behind them; flour was on almost every surface, egg shells on the counter, a seemingly slimy batter spilled, and so many pots and pans placed in the sink.

_To think that he wasn’t even gone for long. Only half a day._

“What the-” Before he could even gather his thoughts though, Jeonghan and Seungcheol perked up from where they were enjoying slurping noodles and stood up to greet him. 

“Shua!” “Shuji!”

The two stood up and hugged Joshua from each side, nuzzling their noses on their youngest boyfriend’s neck. “You were gone for too long.”

Joshua, still stunned with the look of their kitchen, wasn’t able to reply. It was fine as his silence wasn’t even noticed, with his _hyungs_ rambling about each other’s mistakes throughout the time he was out.

“Seungcheol didn’t wash the dishes earlier like he was supposed to!”

“Yeah? Well, you didn’t start with the laundry like I asked you too.”

“I was busy!”

“Busy with what? Sleeping?” _oh no._

A gasp was heard from his left side, “How dare you question my precious sleep. Did you hear him, shua? Cheol’s being an a-hole!”

“Shut up Han, you kept asking for cuddles when you woke up that’s why I couldn’t finish the morning dishes.”

“You’re a piss baby seungcheol.”

“Wha- how did you even get to that conversation?”

“Because I can, what about it?”

_Why must Joshua have to go through their bickering every single day?_

“Shuaaa!” “Soo-yah-”

Joshua sighs. 

_Right, boyfriends._

Smiling (more like grimacing), he leads his boyfriends towards the living room, “One at a time, hyungs.” The cleaning could wait.

When he sat down, it was Jeonghan who first spoke up, overeager to share what happened and seemingly forgetting his and Seungcheol’s little banter. “So we tried to bake right, because like I said, we just can.”

Seungcheol continues their story, “It was going well but Han was too impatient and placed all the flour in the standmixer so it flew everywhere!”

“Yeah well you cracked too many eggs and the butter was not the correct measurement,” Jeonghan retorts as he sinks back onto the couch. “Technically it’s your fault it got burned.”

That statement caused Joshua to giggle nervously, “You guys burned the batter?” He thought they didn’t even get to pouring it in a pan. Just how much did they make for them to have some left to bake?

“Well it caught on fire first before we smelled it burning, but we put it out as soon as we noticed!”

“You- there was a fu- there was a _fire_?!” Oh gosh, and when he thought the mess was the cherry on top, there was more.

Jeonghan ignored Joshua’s question, preferring to continue their story, “We managed to stop the fire from growing-“ _well that’s a good thing_ “-but the pans were too ruined so we placed them in the sink but we didn’t know you shouldn’t put a hot, slightly sizzling, pan in the water right away!”

Seungcheol nods in agreement with Jeonghan, “So it started sizzling more and everything, so we got a bit scared and left the faucet running until Jeonghan pushed me to close it- he pushed me!”

“Well, it was your turn to wash the dishes anyways so you really did have to face the impending doom.” Jeonghan replies as if what he was saying were facts. He turns to Joshua and continues from there, “We got hungry after all the ruckus so we boiled some water and ate instant ramen, which we didn’t burn thank goodness.”

Joshua sits still, mouth slightly ajar. His boyfriends managed to do that in a couple of hours? “Y-you guys made a mess of the kitchen, set food aflame, and burned my baking pans? All of that within the few hours I was gone?”

“Mmm, honestly, I think it happened only within two hours since we weren’t exactly doing anything before that.” Jeonghan smiles innocently as he laid his head on Joshua’s shoulder. “That was super tiring.”

Seungcheol groans as he snuggles up to the other two, “Shua we’re so tired.”

“You-” Joshua stopped himself from nagging the older two, ever the calmest and most understanding of the three. He sighs heavily, “You guys amaze and worry me at the same time, you know that?”

“Hmm, maybe baking isn’t our strongest suit,” Seungcheol mumbles. Jeonghan snorts at that, “The kitchen wasn’t ever really one of your strong suits, Cheol.”

“You’re one to talk, all you can do is grill meat evenly.”

“At least I can grill meat,” Jeonghan makes a face at Seungcheol, tongue out and teasing. “You suck entirely when it comes to cooking.”

Joshua laughs at Jeonghan’s retorts, burying his face in his boyfriend’s mess of blond hair. “You both suck.”

His laughter stops, though, when they both reply. “No, _you_ do,” the eldest two pipe up together, causing Joshua to blush. 

“Shut up!”

“Aww, Shua, you’re blushing!” “You’re so cute Shuji, our little baby.”

Joshua pushes them both away from him, opting to cover his face with his hands in embarrassment. “You guys are the actual worst.”

“How dare you say that to your hyungs!” “We’re super hurt.”

He rolls his eyes, face still covered with his hands. They’re always so chaotic these days. 

After a few more teasing, Joshua decides he was done for the day. Turning things around, he uncovers his face, and grins at the two, “Okay, _hyungs_ , please clean up the kitchen while I take a bath.”

“Wha-” “Wait-”

With that, he stands up and moves to go to his room. “I expect it to be spotless or you’re not getting _any_ , later~” He singsongs, moving his hips teasingly slow as he walks. 

The whines of both Jeonghan and Seungcheol fell deaf to Joshua’s ears as he proceeded to his room to clean up. Thinking about the stories he heard, he shakes his head. ‘I can never leave them alone for too long.’

He hears another ruckus outside his door as he finishes undressing. 

_I guess I’ll just have to stay with them forever._

**Author's Note:**

> If you survived my awful writing, then hurrah! Please do leave a kudos, and comment if you can (tell me how chaotic this is for your brain omg)
> 
> you can reach me at my socials:  
> TWT: @shujisoo_  
> CC: @shujisoo
> 
> you can also leave prompts and i'll try to do it! 
> 
> xo, Kei <3


End file.
